5 Golden Rules AfrerMath

This is the paper I wrote for the aftermath of the Five Golden Rules... enjoy!

When I first heard of Dr. Miller’s Five Golden Rules that we had to follow, I immediately thought of Willy Wonka’s Five Golden Tickets in the chocolate bars. Regardless, I did not think too much of this assignment. I thought it would be an easy “A” and that the only things I would learn from this are the things that I already knew. But the results were actually surprising; I realized that even though I already knew most of the things I learned, being reminded of them was what the important part of this exercise was. I decided it would be easier to write a blog, explaining my memories, and making sure that I did not forget any of the little things (the blog can be seen at http://www.cbruhasays.blogspot.com/). This paper mentions each of the rules, my experience throughout the quarter, and what I learned as a result.

Goals:
Short term: get a 4.0 this quarter, along with saving up to take the trips I've wanted to take to Boston, Keene, Buffalo, and Washington DC.
Long term: Graduate from RIT with a bachelor's degree in Business Administration, majoring in Business Management, double minoring in Marketing and Philosophy. Attend RIT's MBA program.
Professional: Obtain a federal co-op, a co-op pertaining to social media, work in social media marketing or human resources, become a professor, and/or start my own business.
Personal:Work on being more outgoing- I tend to seclude myself in times of uncomfortableness. Also, make room for getting back in touch with nature and religion.
It sounds funny to say it, but simply by writing those ideas down made all of the difference. There is something about seeing the text on the screen that made it seem like it was set in stone. No longer were these goals just something in the back of my mind- they were written down, documented, and revealed to the world through my blog. I kept track of my progress on my goals, but most of them are long-term, or pending.
However, the ones that I focus on most are being more outgoing. I realized that I have immersed myself so much into school that I had not thought to make time with friends. This quarter, I decided to make time, scheduling time to work out with a buddy, or study with a friend. While “killing two birds with one stone,” I had the ability to maintain contact with friends while managing to fit everything into my schedule. I have noticed that I am happier, more confident, and feel better about myself, just by making time to be with the people I love.

Practice listening: Vow to listen as much as you talk. After you reach that 50/50 point, make it 2/3 listening, and 1/3 talking.
I have noticed that I tend to stay on the quiet side of conversations, especially if I do not know the people or if I cannot follow the conversation. I think I already have the 2/3 listening and 1/3 talking part down. I realized that I would have to work backwards; I would have to act more outgoing, start conversations with people I do not know, and become extroverted. I usually think of myself as a fantastic conversation end-er; it was now time to get rid of that negative way of thinking. Now is the time to network, because nowadays, it is about who you know, not what you know.
I tried this one weekend, and noticed that I tend to immediately keep my sentences short and return the question back to my peers; so I tried talking more. It was liberating, in a way, but I felt strange at the same time. I did not want to feel like I was overpowering the situation, or being too much of a blabber-mouth. I decided that I could not just do this for one weekend- it had to be something I strived to do every day. So, each day, I made sure that I made conversation with people, even if I had not spoken to them in a long time. I can honestly say that I was genuinely surprised at the responses from people; they were excited, willing to talk, and I think I have made a few new close friends as a result of this activity.
I notice that sometimes I still tend to go back to my old ways of getting quiet. However, a memorial service that I recently attended for the dear Ellie Rosenfield sparked my insight on this. One of the presenters, Karey Pine, did a mesmerizing speech on the journeys of life. She said that sometimes, the journeys of people intertwine, meeting together, sharing stories, and leaving to continue on with the journey. Sometimes two people come together and journey parallel to each other for a long time. At that moment, it hit me; People are in your life for a reason. There is a reason why you are walking together in this journey of life. Take advantage of it, embrace it. You never knew when you will go your separate ways. Karey Pine then ended the speech with her sign language interpretation of a song from the play Wicked, “Because I knew you,” which reveals the impact that someone can have in your journey of life. Embrace life, and the people in it.

Compliment someone every day… and actually mean it.
In high school, I used to compliment people all the time. I loved the feeling that you got from the smile after complimenting that person- it was like you saw their confidence build up in them the moment you acknowledged them. I used to have the confidence to go up to someone walking by and be like, "I adore your shoes!" However, I stopped complimenting people once I got to college because someone told me that they thought I was fake when I did that.
It is amazing the results of one comment that can put you down. I guess I should have realized that that negative comment should not have discouraged me so soon.The power of positive words can transform someone’s bad day into a wonderful day. I remember reading this article about a guy who had several cups of water, each of which he stuck post-it notes onto the cups. Each post-it note had one word on it, varying from “happy” to “bad” comments. He left the water for a day, and returned to look at each molecular structure of the water from each cup. He realized, as strange as it sounds, each molecular structure of the water with a bad comment on the cup was blurry, muddy, and not normal. All of the positive cups had sparkling, shining, and breath-taking shapes. I should have realized the importance of this example after hearing that comment.

Tell someone you love them…and mean it.
This one was one of the hardest ones to do. I love my family and boyfriend, so saying “I love you” to them was easy. I knew that was not enough, however; I needed to say “I love you” to my friends. My closest friends were easy, as well. I think I had the hardest time saying “I love you” to my new friends that I have made out here at RIT. For whatever reason, I was not comfortable telling my new friends that I loved them. I mean, I truly did- they have been the ones that listen to me rant, cry, and struggle over the past three years. But saying “I love you” was to take our friendship to the next level. I was not sure if I was ready for that!
This boggled my mind for days. If I really loved them, why couldn’t I just tell them? I started having this conversation with them, explaining the rules that were required for this class. Some of them told me not to be so silly, it did not need to be said- if anything, the way I tend to say “I love you” is through my hugs. But some of them struck a few nerves with me. The ones that struck a nerve were the ones that said, “Well, why don’t you say it? I love you, too.” The general consensus was that they have embraced that life is too short to not say “I love you,” so why not just say it? It hit me then—why don’t I just say it?
I then went to RIT’s Connectology Leadership Conference one Saturday morning. I was not expecting the keynote speaker to be anything special. He proved me wrong. His name was Derek Greenfield, and I think that he has forever changed my way of thinking. He had several inspiring words to say, all of which I wrote down on my phone. But one of them, his very last comment, stuck with me. He said, “Think of the day that you were conceived. Don’t think too much about it, though (the audience giggled). When you were conceived, there were 500 million sperms fighting for the chance to reach the egg first. For whatever reason, yours was the one that got there first. You are here for a reason. Go be that reason.”
Not to be religious, but there truly is a reason why God put us all on earth today. It is essential to be reminded that we are all here together, struggling to get through life, but we always forget to acknowledge those in our lives. I love saying “I love you” to my friends now, and I strive to do it once a day, as much as I can.

Every day, before you go to bed, tell;yourself one thing that you did that day that you are proud of.
This is the one rule that I regrettably did not do every night. It might have been because I simply forgot to, or maybe I did not want to. I think I was afraid that maybe I would not like the days where I would have to search hard to find something that I am proud of. It was not until tonight (Monday, April 26) that I was inspired. I was invited to the Women’s Career Achievement Dinner sponsored by RIT’s Women’s Center. It was a huge honor to go, and the food was delicious.
Sandara Sobieraj Westfall of People Magazine. Her genuine speech included a slideshow of her personal photos with various political celebrities. She worked as a journalist for the Associate Press, interviewing several Presidents, government officials, and First Families. She earned respect in the field for being fair, telling stories that were true, but showed the public figures in a good light. Because of her fairness, she went far in her career. However, there were a lot of negatives in her career, including lonely nights, bullying of men co-workers, and constant competition with men. It was not until she realized that what she was doing with her life, even though it had always been her dream, was not making her happy. She realized that she would loved to have a weekend to do what she wanted to do, have a family, and a dog, It was not until she received a job offer at People magazine, which some people would consider a step down from the Associate Press, that she realized she could now be happier. This stuck with me, even five hours after the event had ended. I was struggling internally with the desire to go after my dreams of becoming a sassy businesswoman or starting a family, and being a stay-at-home mom. I felt conflicted I would love to continue my studies and get my MBA, but I feel like after I get my MBA, I would just want to be a stay-at-home mom. I began asking myself, “what was the point of being in school right now, if all I want is to be a mom?” The internal conflict tormented me this entire year. Thankfully, Sandra was able to shed some light on this subject. Although she was not regretful that she immersed herself into her career and started a family later, I realized that there was a possibility of achieving my dream and having a family at the same time, without forgoing one or the other.
I wish I could thank Sandra personally- I have a new way of looking at my college years now.  I can honestly say that I will go to bed tonight, and every night afterwards, saying that I am proud that I am fulfilling my dreams, both of them.

It is funny how the first thing that popped into my head after hearing about the Five Golden Rules is the Golden Tickets from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Each of these tickets were discovered by pure chance. I did not see how it would be relevant until now; Coming across these rules was by complete chance. The people that I came across, the events I went to, and the friends I reunited and met with this past quarter have happened randomly, and by chance. Thanks to chance, I know have a newfound respect for myself, my friends, and the future. I cannot express how thankful I am to Dr. Miller for allowing us to explore these rules. Even though I did not follow them every day, the overall effect over the last few weeks have been life-changing.

Update on the Golden Rules

1. Set Goals, either short term, long term, professional, or personal
1. Short term:Went to Boston to see my Grandparents, and Buffalo for easter. Only a few more trips to go! The 4.0 is pending.
2. long term: pending
3. Professional: Still waiting on that federal co-op, and all others pending, of course.
4. Personal: I'm planning on a full day of BBQing and biking around the park this week, so that's going to help me get back in tune with nature.  I realize how much I miss church on Sundays, so I'm going to try and find a group here that actively attends church. As far as being more outgoing, being a leader of a club helps me practice this, and I think I am improving!
2. Practice listening.
1. Vow to listen as much as you talk: I need to reverse this and start talking more: It's getting easier!
   
2. After you reach that 50/50 point, make it 2/3 listening, and 1/3 talking: Pretty much already set.
   
3. Compliment someone everyday, and actually mean it.
1. I saw the most ADORABLE Coach boots the other day, and went out of my way at the mall to compliment the girl wearing them.  I like how people are at first sort of weirded out that a random person would stop them like that and compliment them, but then they get a smile on their face, and you can just see their confidence boost.
4. Tell someone you love them. And mean it.
1. Does Andy/family count?  I've started saying it to my close friends more often, and it is easier than I thought it would be.
5. Everyday, before you go to bed, tell  yourself one thing that you did that day that you are proud of.
1. This is something that I have not been doing, mostly because I forgot about this rule.  I definitely should though. And for tonight, I am proud of the fact that I actually understood what was being discussed in philosophy today! :)

that's all for now. :) ciao

Personal Selling

This quarter, I am taking a Professional Selling course with Dr. Miller.  One of the assignments is the follow the five golden rules(Reminds me of Willy Wonka's five golden tickets!), and keep a journal about it. Being as it is 2010, I decided to save the trees and keep a blog/journal about my experience in following the five golden rules.  The rules are:

1. Set Goals, either short term, long term, professional, or personal
2. Practice listening.
1. Vow to listen as much as you talk
2. After you reach that 50/50 point, make it 2/3 listening, and 1/3 talking
3. Compliment someone everyday, and actually mean it.
4. Tell someone you love them. And mean it.
5. Everyday, before you go to bed, tell  yourself one thing that you did that day that you are proud of.

Sounds so simple, but I really think that there are valuable lessons to be learned here, and I'm sure that they can be applied to selling, as well.

So, right now, it is the 2nd week, and I want to start with the goals.

• Short term: get a 4.0 this quarter, along with saving up to take the trips I've been wanting to take.
• Long term: Graduate from RIT with a bachelor's degree in Business Administration, majoring in Business Management, double minoring in Marketing and Philosophy.  Attend RIT's MBA program.
• Professional: Obtain a federal co-op, a co-op pertaining to social media, work in social media marketing or human resources, become a professor, and/or start my own business.
• Personal: Work on being more outgoing- I tend to seclude myself in times of uncomfortableness.  Also, make room for getting back in touch with nature and religion.

I think these goals are feasible, and having them open to the public will definitely make me want to achieve them.  I think that one of the things that tends to go wrong is that people set goals in their head, and forget about them the next day.  Having the goals written down is one of the most important steps of following your dreams.

As for the communication/listening/speaking part, I have noticed that I tend to stay on the quiet side of conversations, especially if I do not know the people or if I cannot follow the conversation.  I think I already have the 2/3 listening and 1/3 talking part down.  So now to work backwards, I would have to act more extroverted and making conversation with people that I do not know.  I usually think of myself as a fantastic conversation end-er.  Haha. (how about that weather?) But it's now time to rid of that mindset and start anew.  Now is the time to network, because now-a-days, it is about who you know, not what you know.  This activity could actually be beneficial to me and my future career. (And accomplishing my goals!)

So over the weekend, I tried to start talking more.  I have noticed that I tend to immediately keep my sentences short and return the question back to my peer, so over the weekend, I tried talking more. It was freeing, in  a way, but I was also cautious that maybe I was talking too much, or too much about myself.  I am not one to brag, and I am genuinely curious of other people's stories. Hmph.. something to work on.

In high school, I used to compliment people all the time.  I stopped doing it once I got to college- someone told me that they thought I was fake when I did that, so that immediately shut me down and stopped me from doing that. I used to be able to just see someone walking by and be like, "I adore your necklace!" No time like the present to start complimenting people again. I do love the feeling that you get after you see their smile when you compliment them.  It's almost like a pay it forward deal, in an emotional, psychological way.

As for something I am proud of- it's difficult and easy to do at the same time.  I have a few classes with people that I am not fond of, and I was proud of how I was able to be the "bigger woman" of the situations and hold a conversation with them.  Maybe it is time for a challenge and maybe I should start trying to mend some broken bridges, or bring closure to some friendships.

Love is a funny thing-- there are several kinds.  If there was one thing I hate of my generation, it is how loosely they use the word love.  "I love ya" does not mean "I love you!"  The problem is, I would say I love you to my friends, but it's a different kind of love, and I do not know how they would respond. (Note, most of my closest friends are guys) I mean, I love them, but I am not in love with them like I am with Andy.  I think it will be a matter of trying to figure out how to say it without them feeling weirded out by me saying it. But on the flip side, if they loved me back, it wouldn't be awkward?

For now...Ciao

Potential Careers

As graduation draws near, I begin to analyze and consider what I truly want to do with my life.  I know for a fact that I wanted to provide a service or product to a customer and satisfy them.  However, business is so broad, and I feel the need to start narrowing it down.  I got it narrowed down to the following topics, and the reasons why I feel it would be a good fit for me.  
Professor: I have always wanted to teach.  It has been a dream of mine every since I was a little girl. I love the idea of transforming people simply by filling up their brains.  I feel that being a professor, I will be able to keep myself intellectually challenged everyday, and truly be a student forever in the ever-changing world.  I love the idea of bettering myself through endless study, and through that, helping others better themselves.
Human Resources: I am currently taking a Human Resources Management class right now, and it is fascinating.  I love the idea of dealing with people on a daily basis, whether it is managing complaints, interviewing prospects, or evaluating an employee.  I feel that by having struggled to maintain a solid communication method throughout my life with my hearing loss, that I have an advantage when it comes to being able to communicate effectively: I can list tons of different methods that are simple to use that help convey a message I want to get across.  Working in Human Resources will allow me to experience working across cultures and diversity.
Entrepreneur: I have a solid idea for a business, and I would love to see it a reality.  I really feel that someone needs to create a voice to those that are disabled to companies nationwide.  This would be difficult, and will require a lot of sacrifice, only to know if there will be a return or not.

I know that I could quite possibly do all of these careers in the course of a lifetime, but I think the ultimate question remains of-- which of these occupations will truly make me excited to jump out of bed and head to work?

Taking Sound for Granted

About four years ago, I decided to take a leap of faith and get a cochlear implant. My hearing was collectively decreasing overtime, and with college within the next year, I felt the need to hear more. A cochlear implants is essentially a computerized device that, when surgically in place behind the ear, will stimulate the nerves to create computerized hearing. A risky procedure, since in the process of doing so, you lose all of your hearing in that ear forever.  After hearing stories and watching my friends with cochlears effortlessly communicate with others and talk on the phone, I decided it was my turn to hear a little easier.  This did not come without doubts; I remember be anxious for it, especially since everyone had such high expectations for me.

Upon having the device switched on for the first time, I'll admit-- I hated the noise.  It was loud, obnoxious, and if it wasn't for my parents and best friend sitting along side with me, I would have started sobbing in disappointment. I remember being so thankful that I drove my car there by myself, because after the meeting, I went in the car, and turned on the music to calm my nerves.  Imagine my shock when the country music song come on the radio and it sounded like high pitch screaming.

It felt like there was no escape, and no turning back. It took a good two weeks for me to start realizing the fantastic things I could finally hear- my dad calling my name from the basement while I was upstairs in my room, crickets chirping, bees buzzing, and above all, talking on the phone.   Looking back, four years later, after intensive training, I look forward to learning a new sound everyday.  I can honestly say that my favorite sound is the wind (granted, the wind tunnel that RIT offers does not sound so nice, but the nice breeze on a summer's day is much nicer to hear).  I can correct my speech, and I can talk to my parents on the phone.

Reading over what I just wrote-- it would not be surprising if a hearing person thought it was silly.  The smallest sounds that so many people take for granted are the mere things that I am still being exposed to everyday.  There are some people that think of having a hearing loss/being deaf is a disadvantage-- with the help of technology, I have been able to turn that into my advantage, and I thank God that He let me have this life, for I do not take the sounds I hear for granted.